The Beginnings of a Dream

One of my dreams has always been to start my own teen magazine for African American girls. Growing up, I loved reading teen magazines but noticed that there weren’t any girls who looked like me on any of the pages. Maybe they would have one quote by a black girl, but none of the stories (i.e. beauty tips) were tailored to fit ME and my interests. I found it really frustrating because these magazines didn’t (and still don’t) seem to get it. Even though your audience are teens…different girls go through different experiences, especially girls of color. But I’m not going to lie, I still kept reading merely for entertainment because there was nothing else out there.

Even though, I’ve probably had this dream since I was 18 or so…I never really acted on it. I would always talk about it, but with school and what not I never really got around to it. Fast forward to Spring 2008, I took a InDesign course at Annenberg because I thought it would be helpful for when I did finally decide to create my magazine. For our final project, we had to create our own publication and I created Legacy (too bad the name was taken), the teen magazine I had been talking about for years.

But even after my final, I still hadn’t seriously thought of pursuing the magazine thing any further. After graduation I didn’t find a job as quickly as I had wanted, so that left me with a lot of free time. Lol…A LOT of free time! Anyways, I had e-mailed my final project to a couple of friends and they were really impressed with my work and said that they couldn’t wait for the real thing.

It’s crazy because those comments from my friends were what finally got me to be serious about my magazine. It’s funny how God sends people to remind you of His plan for you. Because honestly as much as I wanted to create this magazine, I was afraid. And the crazy part is that I wasn’t afraid of failing. I was afraid of succeeding. (corny but seriously true) My fears were over stupid stuff like having to run a big operation or what if it becomes so big that I have to do all these public speaking events? I dunno..for some reason with my not having a job and wanting to be productive while I waited somehow made the timing right.

So, the summer of 2008 is when Brownstone was born. I can remember going to bed and leaving a pad of paper next to my bed because that’s when God would hit me with all of His ideas for the magazine. That entire summer I worked hard on putting together my business plan.  Looking back it’s crazy thinking about how I put together a business plan by myself…well with the help of Google and some books from Barnes and Noble. 

And now almost 2 years later, the blog version of Brownstone is up and running. (the online magazine version hopefully will come later this year) We have several logos that have truly brought Brownstone to life thanks to SupaSista Designs. (She is an amazing designer and I’m thankful that we were able to find a designer that understands our vision and can articulate it visually) I have a group of 5 writers now. Our content is growing….too many things to list, but this is only the beginning. I really believe that Brownstone has the potential to be great. And I’m just taking it day by day….

 

Change I Can Believe In

It’s been a while since I last wrote. For some reason, I only write when I’m inspired and guess what today I was inspired So much has happened in the last couple of years that has tested my faith. I can honestly say that my mid-twenties have been one of the hardest periods in my life. And even though the journey is rough at times…I can still smile because I know that it is only God pruning me for greatness Now on to my post!

Ever since Obama…oops let me show my respect…PRESIDENT Obama’s old campaigning days there’s been so much talk about change. He ran his entire campaign on the slogan ”Change WE Can Believe In.” It still amazes me how such a simple slogan brought so many people together all because we were in such a desperate need for something new.

Lately, I’ve been going through my own changes with some of the people and other miscellaneous things in my life. And honestly, I’ve been feeling out of sync…like something has to give. I’m just tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. It’s like I know better, but don’t always do better.

A prime example of an area that needs changing are some of the f riendships in my life. It’s easy to say “Oh I wish that person would stop doing this or that,” but at the end of the day I can’t change people. Common sense right? I mean it is, but at the same time it’s hard not to want people to do things the way that you want them to.

I was listening to this message by Pastor Paul Sheppard and he said “Stop trying to change people. God isn’t going to change someone just to benefit you…just to make you happy. Instead he’s going to ask you to change!” And for some reason at that very second I had an AHA moment. I can’t change people, but I can change myself. I can change how I react to certain situations. I can change how I deal with certain people. And it makes sense because when you choose to change then people either have to adapt or ship out.

For example, I have a friend that is always late and never calls to say that she is going to be late. This gets on my last nerve! Even though it irritates me I’ve never said anything about it, so it continues to happen. If I tell her “hey can you at least call to let me know when you’re late. I’m not going to sit around and wait for you if you don’t call/text.” Then she’ll either take what I said into consideration or ignore it.  But at least now I’ve made it clear as to what I will and won’t tolerate.

I just realize that it’s too draining having to worry about what and why people do what they do. I can’t control how people act or the choices they make, but I can control how I choose to react by being proactive. And so now I really get when Mahatma Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I’ve heard that saying so many times throughout my life, but now I really understand the words behind the saying. If you’re unhappy with something or someone you have the power to change it. You can’t just sit around and wait…and you definitely can’t force things/people to change!

As I move forward, I feel like God has finally gotten it through to me that other people aren’t the problem…I’m the problem! I’m the one who keeps allowing certain things to happen that end up with me being the one unhappy or dissappointed. It’s not about them, it’s about me and it’s about time that I raised my standard bar! I’ve come to learn that when people show you who they really are believe them…lol. I can’t make it my duty to change everything that I don’t agree with in other people’s lives, I can only be responsible for my own growth and hope that others will be influenced by my actions.

And so, when President Obama says ”Change WE Can Believe In” I think you can’t really have change as a collective, without each individual willing to change on his or her own. I’m making a pledge right now that I will not complain about people or certain circumstances (at least try not to…lol) but really start to work on taking control…start taking accountibility. I can only be responsible for myself and pray that God will do the rest. Now that’s change I can believe in

 

 

Embrace Yourself

Believe it or not, I’ve always had an issue with being labeled as “quiet” or “shy.”  To me I saw it as a sign of weakness.  In my eyes being quiet wasn’t fun.  People don’t want to be around the quiet girl.  They would rather hangout with the girl that’s the life of the party.  Plus, I didn’t feel like I was 100% quiet because I wasn’t quiet around my friends.  The people who really knew me would probably say that I’m quiet around people who I don’t know. And it’s true!  I realize that I have to feel comfortable (or have some sort of connection) with people in order to really open and be my true self.  I tend to hold back when I don’t really know people.  And that’s just how I’ve always been, but the “quiet/shy” label still always irked me.

But last night that kinda changed for me.  I volunteered at the WriteGirl’s Bold Ink Awards where women writers from various genres were honored.  It was very surprising to hear that these women whose voices were so powerful in their writing considered themselves shy.  It was very humbling of them to admit that about themselves because you wouldn’t expect to hear the writer behind Seinfield/Everybody Loves Raymond or that the writer/director of The Secret Life of Bees would be shy about speaking in front of people.  And nobody looked down at them for admitting that.  In fact, it made them more human.

I especially identified with the writer/director of The Secret Life of Bees .  She spoke about being the girl who wasn’t the most vocal, but who would go in her room and always found the right words to write down in her journal.  At that moment, I saw myself because I had the same experience.  I was always shy about expressing my opinions, even though I had a lot to say.  At the age of 8, I received my first journal and that became my safe haven for expressing my thoughts.  I guess you can call it being an introvert because I tend to explore my thoughts as well as internalize and really analyze them.  But I’m better at writing those thoughts down than expressing them verbally.   As I was sitting there reflecting on my own experience and issues, I really appreciated her for sharing that about herself. 

Their openness made me realize that we should learn to embrace ourselves.  We are all different and possess various qualities that make us unique.  At this point in my life, I’m learning to be honest with myself and accept myself for who I really am.  I think it’s ridiculous to try and hide things about yourself that you may feel aren’t as appealing…that won’t make you seem likeable to others.  I’m learning to become comfortable with my quietness because I know that one attribute isn’t the only thing that defines me as a person.  In fact, it was helped me develop other strengths such as being a strong writer and listener.  What I’m not able to express verbally comes out clearly on the paper and being a good writer has also paid off in my career.  Secondly, many of my friends come to me when they need advice because they know that I’m a good listener.

Be accepting of the person you are today.  Be honest with yourself.  I believe that if you respect who you are and are open about it, then people will respect you more for your honesty and acceptance.   To deny one’s true self is to deny the person that God has called you to be.  And with that said, we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  That statement alone reminds me to be proud and always embrace myself.

 

Dream BIG or Go Home!

Today is a very big day for Americans.  Barack Obama is officially the first African-American president of the United States.  It has been an extremely emotional day for many African-Americans who never imagined that a day like this would ever come to fruition.  I’ve heard many people say that an Obama presidency gives them hope for bigger and better things.  African-Americans feel that they can actually look their children in the eye and tell them that they can be anything they want to be and honestly believe it.

This whole experience has touched me in a different way.  For me, it’s not about having the first black president (believe me I’m proud), but it’s about what President Obama represents.  President Obama had a dream to become president because he saw that this country desperately needed a change to help rebuild it.  At first people were skeptic of him and his ability to lead our country.  Before, his amazing speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, few people were actually aware of the Chicago senator.   As a result, his experience was constantly questioned and names such as “Arab” and “terrorist” were used to belittle his credibility.

But despite what the critics had to say, President Obama stood tall and never gave up.  He believed in himself and surrounded himself with people who shared his same vision.  And as people saw is geniune interest in wanting to help this country unite in a new direction, they too began to cast their hopes in him for a better future.  More than anything, President Obama has taught me to believe in myself, even when people don’t quite get you.  You have to fight for what you believe and never settle for less.  I’ve come to see that if you truly believe in yourself others will see your passion and in return believe in you too. 

And so, as I move forward in my job search, I must continue to advocate  for the skills that I can bring to table.  Like President Obama, I feel like many people have questioned my ability to manage certain projects.  Like President Obama, I didn’t go the traditional route in my career.  Instead of working after undergrad, I went straight through to graduate school and instead opted to intern.  But like President Obama, I ignore those who doubt my experience and stand firm in what I have to offer to these companies without wavering.  President Obama will forever be a role model for me.  Without a doubt I encourage others, “Dream BIG or Go Home!”

 

Networking 101

Searching for a job is nothing like I expected it to be.   Naively, I thought that I could just send my resume out and my inbox would be overflowing with interview requests.  Well, I was 100% wrong! It definitely hasn’t been that easy.  In fact, it’s been the complete opposite.  For one, it’s hard to apply for jobs when you have difficulty finding the open positions.  And secondly, the job market is filled with qualifed people looking for the same thing.

With the country’s unemployment rate at an all time high, so many people are working hard to secure a job.  As a result, it can be very hard to stand out in a sea of applicants.  That’s why networking is very key.  With the times that we’re in, most likely it’s who you know that will be the most beneficial to helping you get your foot in the door and not the traditional job boards that most of us are familar with using. 

For me, I always saw networking as this tedious task of having to walk up to people and talk to them about what they do in hopes of getting a job.   At career fairs during college, I would often stand back as my peers would bum rush top executives just to get their business cards.   I saw this as a form of “sucking up” and didn’t want to come off as “fake”  just to get a job.  Instead, I would just get the company borchures and application, then walk to the next table.  But looking back, the bum rushers were always the ones making connections and getting the jobs.

And so, as traditional job searching channels have proven to be unsuccessful, I’ve come to realize just how important networking can be.  It’s not about “sucking up” to someone, but reaching out to develop relationships with people you share an interest with.  It’s not just about having that “what YOU can do for me?” mentality, but offering what I can do for you.  It’s about developing mutual relationships that can potentially help each other excel to the next level.   Everyone is trying to get to the top, so there is nothing wrong with asking people for a little help.

If anything, I’m seeing that networking is a good way to learn from other people.  Today, I met with my old boss from my last internship and she helped me brainstorm ideas to get my career started.  She along with my other former coworkers have so many connections and insight into the current market that I wouldn’t have access to otherwise.  And those tips alone can help position me a step or two ahead of my competition. 

Looking back, I’ve met so many people in my field that I should have kept in contact with.  People that probably could have helped me in my current job search.  As I move forward, on the road to greatness I’m learning from my mistakes and now I’m really putting an effort into maintaining relationships with people I’ve worked with and met over the years.  In addition to stepping out of my comfort zone to meet new people.   Networking shouldn’t be seen as a burden, but as a tool for success.  There is great power in helping others achieve their goals and often when you choose to pay it forward there is often a hefty return on investment.

 

Job Hunting in a Recession

It’s been hard trying to find a job.  I never thought it would take this long after I graduated from school.  And to make matter worse, we’re in a recession.  Everyone tells me not to worry…that I graduated during the worst job markets.  (womp, womp, womp)  I read the headlines…I see that companies are laying off workers everyday. But honestly, the recession doesn’t scare me.  I was strugging to find a job before the economic downfall hit last September.  I guess I don’t let it get me down because I have nothing to lose.  Luckily, I don’t have to worry about paying a mortgage or supporting a family.  Believe me I understand that there are people out there suffering, but my main point is that you can’t allow this current crisis to cripple your life.

Like Evangelist Joyce Rodgers said last Sunday at church, “I choose not to participate in the recession!”  And I agree!  I choose not to use the current state of the economy as an excuse to not looking for a job.  I know that times are hard, but that means that I have to work harder.  There are jobs out there.  The number may be lower than it was 2 years ago, but they’re out there.  It just means that I have to change my search strategy…use untraditional means.  For example, last month there weren’t too many companies posting new positions.  So, I did my own research and found companies that I was interested in, then sent my resume off to them even though there wasn’t an official posting.  (That’s not too “out of the box”, but sometimes you have to go that extra mile to get what you want.  And at least I was proactive.)

I know that there is something out there for me and that the right job will come along when it’s time.  But in the meantime, I’m happy that I have my magazine project and freelance work to keep me sane.  As I continue my search, I refuse to let words like “economic crisis” and “recession” scare me from advancing on the road to greatness.